The other day my wife and 3 kids (11, 8, and 5) were sitting at the dinner table and the topic of New Year’s resolutions came up. After explaining exactly what they were, I asked my kids if they had any for 2013. What followed was pure gold.
My 5-year old daughter chimed in and said her resolution was, and I quote, “to take a lot of baths so I won’t get any nipples on my face.” My wife darn near did a spit take and quickly shot me a glare that could cut glass. I immediately put 2 and 2 together and remembered that right after Christmas I got a big ol’ zit on my forehead and my daughter was just enamored by it. She wanted to touch it, play with it, and talk about it endlessly for about 20 minutes. I think she would have named it if I’d let her.
But her initial question was the crux of the issue, she asked, “Daddy, why do you have a nipple on your head?” It was at this point that I explained it was called a pimple and was caused by clogged pores and how I needed to wash my face better. These kids are sponges I tell ya.
Guinea Pig Breeding Flock
My wife then asked my 8-year old daughter what her resolution was and she said “to breed her guinea pig and start a business selling the babies.” I have to admire her entrepreneurial spirit and I like to think she gets that from me, but speaking purely on logistics, my wife and I had to softly put this resolution to rest in a shoe box under the oak tree in the backyard.
We explained that “Tipy”, the guinea pig that Santa brought her, is in fact a boy and would not be having babies anytime soon. But I, being the entrepreneurial type, spent the rest of the evening doing the math in my head of what we could sell the little farts for and what our costs might be. I finally put the idea to rest when I realized that there is no way I could handle the smell of more than one Tipy in our home.
Stick to my Day Job
My 11-year old son then spoke up and said that his resolution was to “not let Dad umpire any of my baseball games this year.” Just when I thought he had forgotten, the memories came flooding back. I actually rang him up on a called strike three in the bottom of the ninth inning with 2 outs, down 2 runs, with the bases loaded. The worst part? The pitch may have been a little high.
I felt really bad afterwards. As a Dad, it was one of those somewhat sub-conscious moments where you actually are harder on your own kid because you don’t want to show any favoritism. He’s such a sweet kid and said afterwards, “It’s okay dad, it probably was a strike.” I was relaying this story to a friend a couple weeks after it happened and he said something that really stuck with me. He said, “If he didn’t throw a fit and blame you, you’re doing something right.”
In the end, it was one of those experiences that re-affirmed that I am doing more things right than wrong and he is turning into a good young man.
Are there any good New Year’s resolutions coming out of your home this year? I look forward to your comments.
Kyle James runs a website called Rather-Be-Shopping.com which specializes in online coupons and coupon alerts to over 800 popular retailers like Lands’ End, Kohl’s, and American Eagle. He also has a blog, where he writes about frugal living, creative ways to save money, and the adventures of raising three active kids.
Donna is a Content Creator, Marketer, Brand Ambassador, Social Media Consultant, former teacher, wife, and proud mom. Blog by Donna encompasses all that… she writes about family life and being a woman while weaving in articles about the brands and products she and her family love.
Cute story about stinky Tipy!
I would have put the kibosh on the guinea pigs too!
Thanks ladies. Yes, 1 guinea pig is plenty. They are really weird little things. They purr and whistle which my daughter loves but I am having a hard time getting use to!
Oh my gosh this made me LAUGH!
This was a great read, made me laugh 😉 Try using St Ives products for the nipples..I mean pimples 😉
That’s really cute, lol.
Cute story. Even I have the same resolution.
OMG I’m laughing so hard about nipples on my face!!!
Love the nipple story!!
Nipples on the face…too funny!
Great post. These were seriously hilarious.
Oh, this made me laugh!!! How funny!
This made me laugh! Sometimes kids sees life differently. And the reality is, life for them is simple.
That’s pretty funny… and no way I could handle one dang rodent, never mind a heard.
The nipple pimple was just too cute!
OMG, those kids think of everything.
I read the whole post I promise, but my brain stopped processing after the face nipple giggles!
Haha, that was adorable. Esp the “to take a lot of baths so I won’t get any nipples on my face”. Hahaha!
I have to say I really enjoyed reading that! Kids are way funnier than any adult can even try to be! Can’t wait for my daughter to starting putting in her 2 cents!
Thanks Ladies, very funny comments! As most of you know, with kids in the house you just have to stop and listen and you’ll be entertained. And yes, I will never look at a zit the same way again…
LOL pretty funny, the pimple one sounds like my husband
You know, I don’t want “nipples” on MY face, either! LOL!
Such a cute story!
LOL!! What a great (and funny) story.
How cute! I should have asked my three year old was his resolution was.
Kids say the most hilarious things don’t they?
very funny post, thanks for the laugh
sibabe64 at ptd dot net
Sounds like a really funny book!! I am going to buy this for sure.
right now my number one resolution is to get fit.
omg, the nipple on your face resolution made me laugh. Gotta love kids. That is a story for the memory boxes. Oh, and as for the additional little animals in your house? Yes, I too would have put the kibosh on that too. Good call.
too funny 🙂
lol – no guinea pigs here either.
I would totally buy a little piggy from your daughter LOL
LOL at Spit take… never heard that before!
Lol that would be something my kids would say especially the last one
LOL I just love some of the things kids say – they say the darndest things. This is so cute. I will have to ask my grandson his New Years resolution. Cause when its foggy out he say gamma its froggy out I cant see. This would be something cute to do for a book . Thanks for the stories ; }
lol. I needed a laugh right about now
This is hilarious.
Oh my gosh, too funny!
Nothing like keeping nipples off your face lmao…your kids are hilarious!
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