When I was pregnant with my son, no one warned me that he might say or do things that would make me want to hide under a rock. Or take a rock and beat myself in the head with it…. and I don’t embarrass that easily. We already know babies should come with manuals, but they should also come with warnings. My son has said so many, albeit hilarious, embarrassing things and over at NickMom, they understand.
While I was perusing NickMom.com recently, I realized that I’m in good company. In fact, my life may not be so crazy. At least I’m not alone.
In case you think I’m exaggerating about the embarrassing #MotherFunny moments, let me share a story of one such holiday….
My parents live 435 miles away from me and every Thanksgiving we go in to spend it with them. We usually stop for a potty break half way there at a Wendy’s in this little town we go through. The bathroom is small with only one stall and my son was only four (a couple days shy of five, since his birthday is on November 25th) at the time and it was just the two of us, so he HAD to go in the bathroom with me.
To be more precise, he had to come inside the “stall” with me. I turn him facing the wall with his back to me and proceeded to do my business. I hear the door open and someone else comes in. And right on cue, my son asks, “Mommy, can I see your vagina?”
Loud and proud.
The woman on the other side of the stall loses it. Seriously. She snorted.
I’ve shared how my son asked how to spell the “F” word so you may think he is obsessed with the vagina (I think he was obsessed with the “word” for a time there). I promise he’s not a little perv. He just has this knack of knowing how to embarrass me.
Anyway, after we get back on the road, I start thinking about it and started laughing and laughed till I cried. I know that if I had been the woman in the bathroom, I’d snorted, too.
Oh, my son wasn’t finished embarrassing me, though. It was much too early in the day for that. Granted, asking to see my girly parts is about as embarrassing as it could get, though. So we had no place to go but up.
After we arrived at my Mom’s and had been there for a bit, my son heard my Mom compliment me. Saying it looked like I had lost some weight.
My son pipes in… “No Nanny, it’s those Spanx she has on!”
Dang it child! Is nothing sacred?! When will I learn to watch what I say in front of, or in earshot of my son?!
Now that my son is almost eleven, I don’t think anything embarrasses me anymore. Seriously, after 9+ years (the first two he either couldn’t talk or say enough words to embarrass me) of his embarrassing questions or child-like honesty, I don’t think ANYTHING could embarrass me now.
I know… who am I kidding? I’m sure he will find a way to embarrass me again. But just wait, I’ll have the last laugh because soon he will be a teenager and I’ll be embarrassing him by just being in the same room with him. Bwahahahahaha!
I want to thank Nick for helping me feel better about my #MotherFunny life. I can visit NickMom.com and laugh at other people’s #MotherFunny stories, instead of being the “butt” of them. And don’t get me started on THAT word. What is it with boys and butts?
This illustration on NickMom really struck a chord with me:
Which is another thing that drives me crazy…. my son’s picture faces. Getting holiday photos are hit and miss — mainly miss. My son will automatically make some kind of face as soon as he sees a camera. Like what kind of faces you ask? Why, like these…
As you can see, whether it’s my son saying or asking something embarrassing or being silly when he sees a camera, being a mom is never boring for me. My son better be glad he’s so darn cute, though.
If you want to be the one doing the laughing, be sure to check out NickMom.com.