My Reminder: How to Really Love a Child

This morning my son could wear a hat to school (this is a rare treat) if they brought in a $1 for The United Way. As we were pulling into the school he remembered this. I usually don't have cash on me, because I use my debit card for everything… but this morning I did. So I gave him money, sans hat.

He thanked me for the money and said that IS what's important, but he had disappointment in his voice as he said, "But now I have to wait a year before I can wear a hat to shcool again." Now, chances are there will be an opportunity at least one more time to wear a hat, but this is what he thought. I told him that it was also his responsibility to remember these things, too. And he would be fine not wearing a hat today.

So, after I get home, I went and grabbed a hat and told my hubby I was going back to the school to give it to him. On the way there I questioned myself, whether I should be doing this. I mean am I teaching him responsibility if I do this? But my heart said "Take him his hat, woman!"

The look in his eyes, and the hug and thank you I received told me I did the right thing. 

After I got home, my hubby Skyped me the poem "How To Really Love A Child" by SARK, and said it reminded him of me, this morning. I needed this reminder… maybe you do, too.

How To Really Love A child

Be there. Say YES as often as possible. Let them bang on pots and pans.

If they're crabby, put them in water. If they're unlovable, love yourself.

Realize how important it is to be a CHILD. Go to a movie theatre in your pajamas.

READ books out loud with JOY. INVENT pleasures together. Remember how small they are. 

GIGGLE A LOT. Surprise them. Say no when necessary. TEACH feeling. Heal your own

inner child. LEARN about parenting. HUG trees together. MAKE LOVING SAFE. Bake a 

cake and eat it with no hands. Go find elephants and kiss them. Plan to BUILD a

rocketship. IMAGINE yourself MAGIC. Make lots of forts with blankets. Let your

angel fly. Reveal your own DREAMS. Search out the POSITIVE. Keep the gleam in

your eye. Mail letters to GOD. Encourage SILLY. Plant licorice in your garden. Open up.

STOP yelling. Express your LOVE a lot. Speak kindly. Paint their tennis shoes. Handle with

CARING. Children ARE miraculous.



  1. This totally made me cry. I LOVE LOVE LOVE SARK! And I think that you did the right thing. Your son was so sweet in wanting to contribute to the United Way even though he didn’t have a hat to wear – I think that kindness like that should be rewarded.

  2. @Jenn – thank you! I felt so awful on the way home. And really what was it going to hurt for me to run his hat back to school? I’m so glad I did.

  3. You being you !! Love you !! Cody is one lucky little guy !!

  4. Thank you so much for sharing!!! I’m so glad you took your son’s hat back to him. I can just imagine how happy you made him. He’s going to remember that for a long time. 🙂

  5. @Mary – ah, I love you too, my friend!

    @Jennifer – thank you for your kind words!

    Thank you to all of you for all the nice things you’ve said. You’re all great!

  6. Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s wonderful and so true

  7. Absolutely! Just be sure to credit the author of the poem, who is SARK. -Cheers!

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