Quarantined? Alternatives to Toilet Paper

With the global pandemic we are all facing right now, so many places have sold out of toilet paper. It’s insane really. I mean a pandemic happens, we need to self-quarantine ourselves and the first thing sold out at every store that sells it is… toilet paper! So alternatives for toilet paper may be a needed thing.

My local Walmart’s toilet paper aisle. This is pretty much how the paper towel and cleaning supplies look, as well.

Why Toilet Paper?

I personally think that what happened was a few people started buying up all the toilet paper in a few stores, along with hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes (and cleaners) to sell at jacked up prices to take advantage of us during this pandemic.

Then normal people went shopping and saw that there were very few of these products left on the shelves, started panicking, buying up the rest and sharing photos and dismay on social media.

This caused widespread panic and everyone started hoarding up all the toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and antibacterial cleaners. I mean it is a virus and we are more than likely going to be quarantined, so we will need toilet paper… but we don’t need to ‘panic buy’.

I did buy two packs of 12 rolls that I was lucky to find at my local Kroger, but it wasn’t my brand, Charmin, but hey, toilet paper is better than no toilet paper in an apocalypse, right? I also came home and ordered a bidet attachment for our bathroom.

Why had I not bought a bidet before?! I can tell you it was the best $34.99 I ever spent! But I digress…

I feel fortunate because I know there are families out there that for whatever reason weren’t able to get stocked up on essentials like toilet paper before this virus hit big in the United States.

For those families, I wanted to share some alternatives to toilet paper. And, who knows, many of us may be in the same boat before this pandemic is over.

What can I use instead of toilet paper?

Many people who live off-grid don’t use toilet paper, or at least use alternatives for toilet paper. If you’re home and can’t seem to buy toilet paper anywhere during the coronavirus outbreak, then check out these options that you can use instead of toilet paper.

Alternatives to Toilet Paper

Pristine Toilet Paper Spray

Pristine Spray got its start on ABC’s Shark Tank. And since it’s non-clogging and environmentally friendly, it’s a good alternative to toilet paper.

Bodifresh Toilet Paper Foam Non-Clogging Alternative to Flushable Wipes

Bodifresh Toilet Paper Foam isn’t necessarily an alternative to toilet paper because it is used in conjunction with toilet paper. But, you can use less TP making your toilet paper supply last longer.

Bidet Toilet Attachment w/ Self-cleaning Dual Nozzle and Adjustable Water Pressure for Sanitary and Feminine Wash

A bidet attachment or toilet seat is the cleanest way to clean your tush. I bought one on March 14th but it isn’t currently available but this Luxe Bidet Neo 180 Non-Electric bidet attachment is very similar to the one I got.

With a dual nozzle, women can use this bidet to not only clean their tush but if you’re on your period, pregnant (or recently given birth), or just want to feel a little extra clean after peeing, this is the perfect bidet.

OsoCozy Flannel Baby Wipes – Reusable and Washable Baby-Wipes-Unbleached

These reusable and washable baby wipes are to well, wipe baby’s bottoms, so they can wipe adult bottoms, as well. No, they aren’t ideal, but in a perfect world we wouldn’t be trying to find alternatives to toilet paper, would we?

Cotton Classic Handkerchiefs

Another toilet paper alternative is handkerchiefs. Yes, the square hankies your grandfather (maybe father) carries with him. Back in the day, men would offer up their hanky to women who were crying.

Now with a global pandemic and toilet paper shortage, these square pieces of cotton can be used to wipe our bottoms. They are washable, so 50 hankies can last awhile.

Home Bidet Toilet Attachment

The best money I’ve spent so far during this global pandemic is a bidet attachment.

Here’s another bidet attachment I found that is economical. Most of the bidets and attachments are either currently not available or the prices or exuberant. Which you might rather purchase one of them. But if you are looking for something that really works and is more cost-effective, this is a great option.

Microfiber Cleaning Cloths

Another reusable, washable alternative to TP. If you are a mom who used or uses cloth diapers then using microfiber cleaning cloths on you and your family’s rear ends won’t be a big deal. It’s definitely a possible alternative to toilet paper.

Paper

Are you a packrat who has hoarded away old newspapers? If so, you are golden with a stash of alternatives to toilet paper.

Yep, paper. Newspapers, magazine pages, and scrap papers, for example, are all alternatives to toilet paper. Just don’t flush them down the toilet or you’ll need more than just toilet paper.

Odd socks

I have no idea where the other sock goes, but we all have mismatched socks that can be used as a toilet paper alternative.

You know all those odd socks you find when you take clothes out of the dryer. I still have no idea what happens to the other missing sock. Anyway, why not use them for toilet paper. Yes, you will either have to wash them or throw them away, but in a pinch, they would come in handy.

Old T-Shirts

Old t-shirts or any old scraps of cloth can be used as alternatives to toilet paper.

Another thing many of us have in our closets or drawers are old worn-out t-shirts. You can rip or tear them up into smaller squares or pieces and use them for toilet paper. If you don’t want to reuse them, just throw them out.

Money

No one is going to use cash as an alternative to toilet paper unless we get to a point where money has no use and we are all bartering and trading.

Okay, I’m kidding about money. Unless it turns into a full-fledged apocalypse and paper currency has no benefits anymore. Then if you do happen to have cash on you, well, it might be money well spent.

I admit that many of the above options aren’t very enticing, but if it all goes to hell in a handbasket, well, it’s better than nothing. I mean in a post-apocalyptic wasteland they may be better than leaves.

Which begs me to ask, “Did you ever wonder what people did before toilet paper?” Before toilet paper was invented, by the Chinese, by the way, people used wool sponges attached to sticks, moss, snow, corn cobs, and even their hands.

I know, yuk… but true.

As I mentioned above, though, a bidet is your best bet. It’s even cleaner than toilet paper and even if you still use TP, you use much less of it with a bidet. Sadly, from the time I bought mine last weekend and till my writing of this post, it’s difficult to find bidets in stock and of course, the prices are going up.

I ordered one for my son’s bathroom and it will be 4-6 weeks before it arrives. But better late than never.

So, you’d better buy a bidet attachment quickly.

Whatever you end up (pun not intended) doing I hope that you and your family stay safe and healthy during the Coronavirus pandemic or global epidemic may be the better term. As my family and I practice social distancing, I hope that we don’t run out of toilet paper, though.