For the last three years I've slowly become more and more addicted to food. To the act of eating food. The comfort. It's the one thing I have complete control over. I'd never had trouble with my weight before. When I graduated high school, I weighed a whopping 82 lbs. Yes, you heard correctly – 82 pounds. I never hit the 3-digits until I was 24-years-old.
This was the early to mid-eighties, and I'd never heard the word anorexia before – because I'm certain that everyone would have be certain I suffered from it. I didn't. I never even thought about my body, really. I ate, and ate well. I was extremely active, and at the time, blessed with a very active metabolism. Fast forward to today… I think it's the complete opposite.
I won't say how much I weigh today. When I lose down to my goal weight, I'll tell you then. I just can't bear to say it now. Yet, at the same time, I'm so mad at myself for not being able to be okay with the way I look today. I mean, I'm not unhealthy.
Or am I? Physically, the extra weight hasn't taken it's toll on me… yet. However, being addicted to food (or anything for that matter) is unhealthy. I know I said, that food was the one thing I felt like I had complete control over, but I realized during my "self-reflection" that I didn't have control at all. The addiction to food had control over me.
And that is not acceptable to me.
I must take control back. To be perfectly honest, I'm not totally sure how I'm going to do this, yet, but admitting you have a problem is the first (and hardest part) step, right?
So, I'll share with you the what, when, why, and how's of my personal battle with my food addiction. And I hope you'll share with me your stories. Hopefully we can teach and learn from each other.
As for today, I'm taking baby steps. And I hope you'll join me.