Okay, so it happened – the sharp pains appear across the top of my stomach, and it hurts all the way through to my back. And man does it hurt. But the good news is that it isn’t just pain, but waves of nausea as well. Unfortunately, I knew all too well what was going on. It’s back, for the second time in my life – a relatively minor but painful bout of acute pancreatitis.
The good news is that I wasn’t dying. But the bad news is that I had to stop doing one of my all-time favorite activities for a day or so – I had to quit eating. Bummer. Serious bummer.
To be truthful, I know it was all my fault. You see, I had been eating poorly for a couple days (or more). And do I even need to mention the red velvet cake that was on sale at Krogers? I was being judicious about the calories I was eating, and so I had adopted the chilled (that was is the best) red velvet cake as the breakfast of champions. You know, watch the calories and you can eat what you want.
Unfortunately, no one told that to the pancreatitis that just hides and lurks until you overwork your poor pancreas with too much fat. And then, boom.
As I mentioned, this isn’t the first time I have dealt with this particular inconvenience. Of course, that didn’t stop me from hitting the web to get a second diagnosis. By the time I had finished looking up every fatal and semi-fatal stomach pain known to man, I was glad to convince myself that it was indeed acute pancreatitis returning.
Which is what I had known from the beginning, but that leaves me with more wisdom to remember – never, ever spend too much time looking up symptoms on the web. I’m glad to report that I have more than 24 hours to live, although a few sites had me questioning that…
So, on to what I was going to do to get better. For me, that means one thing – stop eating. Just stop ingesting food for at least 36 hours. Sounds easy on paper, but when the realization first comes over me like a dark shadow spreading across the plain, I suddenly picture a sad black and white movie situated in a rainy Paris as a lone violin plays off in the distance.
For a few moments, I completely lose the will to live. Visions of everything I enjoy eating flash before me, and I feel a heartache that no singular pizza will fill.
But soon enough I remember what is important to me, and I know that I can make it through the now self-imposed fast without serious mental or physical damage.
I steel myself to my bleak future and set my jaw against the challenge now before me as I tackle acute pancreatitis head-on.
Well, that and I whined a lot to anybody around me as I went without food, but that part I had really intended on not including in this too truthful story. But slightly whine I did, and I made it through a day and a half without eating. Sure enough, the pain stopped and I felt so much better after the short starvation plan.
Going forward, I know that I have to watch what I eat and really restrict the fat content in my diet for a respectable amount of time. That I can do, since many of those foods I really do enjoy. I mean, I can eat potatoes and rice any day of the week and be happy about it.
Beans, man I do love beans, black beans, brown beans and (Donna is going to hate me for saying this) soup beans. Lentils and corn are fine too, and if you mix any of those together it’s like a mini feast. Yes, I’m good with cutting out the fat to a mere 20 grams or less per day, as long as I can eat. I can handle a low-fat diet.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have not yet broken from my acute pancreatitis imposed fast, and I just heard the beeper go off on the rice maker. Today, yes today, I shall eat!