My husband says to me EVERY day, "You're beautiful." Sometimes the word "beautiful" changes to pretty or gorgeous, but generally it's beautiful. I sometimes say thank you. I sometimes don't respond at all. But the inner dialogue going on inside my head is "Yeah, I here ya."
There are days when I feel really good about myself and believe him. But more often than not, I don't. Why? Partly because I've put on some weight over the last 5 years. And because for reasons I haven't been able to figure out yet, I can't seem to be okay with myself with the extra weight. YET, if a young girl was telling me she didn't like herself or didn't think she was beautiful because of her weight, I would tell her that our outward appearance is SO not important. It's what's on the inside that makes us beautiful. I would tell my best girl friends the same thing. Because it's true!
Shouldn't I be my own best friend? Why do I beat myself up? Why don't I always believe my hubby when he tells me I'm beautiful? I sure have a lot of questions. And I'm going to start searching for answers. Reflection. This is what I need to do… and not by looking in a mirror. But by looking inward.
I don't have daughters, but my almost nine-year-old son, who is so, so, skinny, goes around saying he is big (he doesn't use the word "fat"). He will say, "Look how big my tummy is." I know he has picked this up from me. And it's no wonder our girls and young women have so many body image issues. Because I know I'm not alone. I hear women talking about being on this diet and that diet all the time.
In fact, part of the reason for this post is because of a review I'm doing for Zaggora HotPants. I decided to let my husband take a picture of me in them for my review, and I did not want to do it. The only reason I decided to just do it is, 1) the hot pants do have a slimming effect, and 2) I was holding my stomach in like there was no tomorrow. 🙂
I'm not obese. I'm healthy. I'm in the healthy BMI range. BUT, I'm not slender and svelte like I once was… I think I've lost my girly figure, maybe, forever.
So why can't I believe I'm beautiful, just the way I am… right now? Do you struggle with your weight? And does it affect the way you see yourself? Well I'm here to tell YOU, that you ARE beautiful! I AM beautiful! And let's not just tell our children they are beautiful, but show them with our behaviour that we are all beautiful!