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Why can’t I believe I’m beautiful… Just The Way I am?

By: Donna Chaffins | Date: November 21, 2011 | Categories: Parenting, Random Thoughts and Conversations

My husband says to me EVERY day, "You're beautiful." Sometimes the word "beautiful" changes to pretty or gorgeous, but generally it's beautiful. I sometimes say thank you. I sometimes don't respond at all. But the inner dialogue going on inside my head is "Yeah, I here ya."

There are days when I feel really good about myself and believe him. But more often than not, I don't. Why? Partly because I've put on some weight over the last 5 years. And because for reasons I haven't been able to figure out yet, I can't seem to be okay with myself with the extra weight. YET, if a young girl was telling me she didn't like herself or didn't think she was beautiful because of her weight, I would tell her that our outward appearance is SO not important. It's what's on the inside that makes us beautiful. I would tell my best girl friends the same thing. Because it's true!

Shouldn't I be my own best friend? Why do I beat myself up? Why don't I always believe my hubby when he tells me I'm beautiful? I sure have a lot of questions. And I'm going to start searching for answers. Reflection. This is what I need to do… and not by looking in a mirror. But by looking inward.

I don't have daughters, but my almost nine-year-old son, who is so, so, skinny, goes around saying he is big (he doesn't use the word "fat"). He will say, "Look how big my tummy is." I know he has picked this up from me. And it's no wonder our girls and young women have so many body image issues. Because I know I'm not alone. I hear women talking about being on this diet and that diet all the time.

In fact, part of the reason for this post is because of a review I'm doing for Zaggora HotPants. I decided to let my husband take a picture of me in them for my review, and I did not want to do it. The only reason I decided to just do it is, 1) the hot pants do have a slimming effect, and 2) I was holding my stomach in like there was no tomorrow. 🙂

I'm not obese. I'm healthy. I'm in the healthy BMI range. BUT, I'm not slender and svelte like I once was… I think I've lost my girly figure, maybe, forever. 

So why can't I believe I'm beautiful, just the way I am… right now? Do you struggle with your weight? And does it affect the way you see yourself? Well I'm here to tell YOU, that you ARE beautiful! I AM beautiful! And let's not just tell our children they are beautiful, but show them with our behaviour that we are all beautiful!

 

0 Responses to Why can’t I believe I’m beautiful… Just The Way I am?

  1. Tammy says:

    My husband tells me that all of the time. Some days I just think he needs to have his eyes checked.

  2. Penelope says:

    Our society? Our parents? Who knows why…but believe your husband 🙂

  3. Theresa says:

    Thank you for this great reminder. And Just The Way You Are? It’s a beautiful song and is my teenage daughter’s all-time favorite.

  4. Great post, I feel the same way sometimes! At 45 I have to watch what I eat way more than when I was even 40. I am back at the club and looking for some nice workout gear too. You are beautiful!

  5. I can absolutely relate to this! I am so dismissive with comments, even if just on the inside. No matter what, I’ll always find something to pick at myself about. 🙁

  6. I meant dismissive with compliments, not comments. 😉

  7. Jennifer says:

    I can totally relate to this.

    oh and I LOVE that Bruno Mars song!

  8. Marcie W. says:

    I have a print hanging in the room my daughter’s share that says "If you are confidant, you are beautiful" Never forget that

  9. Donna says:

    From the responses I’m getting I see I’m not alone.

    @MsDarkstar – I know someone who feels exactly the way you do. In fact, someone in my family (by marriage) used to say the same thing… "So-in-So would be so pretty if she’d lose weight". I would correct him and say, "She IS pretty."

    I’m ashamed of myself, really. I’m old enough to know better. I know, that beauty really does come from within. I’ve met people that I immediately thought were attractive, but in no time see that they are not attractive at all. It’s not just weight, either. It can be our height, or our noses, etc. I always wished I’d had a cute little nose, but that’s not the cards I was dealt.

    Remember ladies, find and embrace your beauty… because you really are beautiful!

  10. My husband tells me the same thing, daily. And I often have the same struggle, daily. It is so hard for women to believe in their own beauty when our culture prizes something other than what stares back in the mirror. KWIM?

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