I often get questioned by a lot of my buddies about why I am not the “man” of the house bringing in all of the money and supporting the family. I get it; our house isn’t what the typical house may be like these days but then again, I’ve come to accept that fact.
I’m not the breadwinner. I know that. It took awhile, but I’ve grown accustomed to what my role is in this life, this marriage, this family. And I welcome it all with open arms.
I lost my job a few years back (like a lot people did over the past decade of semi-depression) but I now know what I’m doing for my family is the best thing for us at this time. I like where I’m at in life. I relish it, and I’ve come to the realization that for the foreseeable future, that’s going to be the way my family is constructed.
I began my own blog to not only keep my sanity, but to give everyone a little insight into a guy’s point of view into the situation my family was put in, whether it was by choice or not.
My wife is in the accounting business here in Western Pennsylvania and is very successful at her job, bringing in the necessary money that we are able to live on. My previous paychecks were not what she was pulling in – no, it paled in comparison to what she was making. We had a decision to make when my little princess came along and we were faced with a predicament of sending her off to daycare and spending tons of money on that, or me staying at home. We decided to scratch the idea of me trying to make ends meet with a scab job, and we pinpointed that it was my time to stay at home with my 3-year old princess. One conversation is all it took – I was going to be the stay at home dad.
I cherish every moment I have with my little princess. She is our pride and joy, just as each and every kid should be to their parents. When I embarked on this endeavor I thought I was going to be able to enjoy our time together and also get some time to do things and catch up on things around the house. Boy was I wrong.
The terrible 2s came and went, and then she continued into the dreaded terrible 3s when I lost my job. Did I expect to enjoy every waking minute with her regardless? Absolutely. Am I getting smacked in the face in reality? Not even a question.
I wanted to at least keep my man card. I wanted to be able to do more around the house. Oh wait, I’m not home alone am I? I have a little work to do with a 3-year running around nonstop! A typical day for a stay at home dad, which I’m sure is probably pretty much the same as a woman’s point of view, is getting lunch ready for my wife, getting the little princess up and going with breakfast and an occasional cartoon, a snack here and there, a nap (hopefully!), and then get dinner ready for my wife before she gets home. All in a day’s work.
You work around the kid’s time, not yours. You have to be the caretaker at all times when she is at that age. Granted, I love every minute of it, but it wasn’t what I expected. Times when I sit and think to myself that I’m frustrated and wish I was back at work, she gives me the cutest little smile or says just the right thing to know that someone up above put me in this position for whatever reason, and it is my “job” to take it and run with it.
Another thing that came to my mind was how was I going to tell my family and friends that I’m a stay at home dad? Guys do have pride. Guys have that one thing about them that they feel as if they are “suppose” to be the one providing the family. I didn’t have a choice. This is where we have come as a family, and I’m comfortable with that now. It was tough at the beginning taking jabs from my friends from time to time. But you to have thick skin when you are doing what’s best for your family as a whole. I’ve accepted that, and I’ve accepted my role for the time being.
I never expected I would be in this situation. I really didn’t. But my little girl has turned into my own little princess and it is something that I will never forget, something that I would have never gotten the opportunity to do if I was working, and something that unfortunately my wife will never experience.
I know this is happening for reason, whether I have to be the breadwinner or not. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.