The other day my wife and 3 kids (11, 8, and 5) were sitting at the dinner table and the topic of New Year’s resolutions came up. After explaining exactly what they were, I asked my kids if they had any for 2013. What followed was pure gold.
My 5-year old daughter chimed in and said her resolution was, and I quote, “to take a lot of baths so I won’t get any nipples on my face.” My wife darn near did a spit take and quickly shot me a glare that could cut glass. I immediately put 2 and 2 together and remembered that right after Christmas I got a big ol’ zit on my forehead and my daughter was just enamored by it. She wanted to touch it, play with it, and talk about it endlessly for about 20 minutes. I think she would have named it if I’d let her.
But her initial question was the crux of the issue, she asked, “Daddy, why do you have a nipple on your head?” It was at this point that I explained it was called a pimple and was caused by clogged pores and how I needed to wash my face better. These kids are sponges I tell ya.
Guinea Pig Breeding Flock
My wife then asked my 8-year old daughter what her resolution was and she said “to breed her guinea pig and start a business selling the babies.” I have to admire her entrepreneurial spirit and I like to think she gets that from me, but speaking purely on logistics, my wife and I had to softly put this resolution to rest in a shoe box under the oak tree in the backyard.
We explained that “Tipy”, the guinea pig that Santa brought her, is in fact a boy and would not be having babies anytime soon. But I, being the entrepreneurial type, spent the rest of the evening doing the math in my head of what we could sell the little farts for and what our costs might be. I finally put the idea to rest when I realized that there is no way I could handle the smell of more than one Tipy in our home.
Stick to my Day Job
My 11-year old son then spoke up and said that his resolution was to “not let Dad umpire any of my baseball games this year.” Just when I thought he had forgotten, the memories came flooding back. I actually rang him up on a called strike three in the bottom of the ninth inning with 2 outs, down 2 runs, with the bases loaded. The worst part? The pitch may have been a little high.
I felt really bad afterwards. As a Dad, it was one of those somewhat sub-conscious moments where you actually are harder on your own kid because you don’t want to show any favoritism. He’s such a sweet kid and said afterwards, “It’s okay dad, it probably was a strike.” I was relaying this story to a friend a couple weeks after it happened and he said something that really stuck with me. He said, “If he didn’t throw a fit and blame you, you’re doing something right.”
In the end, it was one of those experiences that re-affirmed that I am doing more things right than wrong and he is turning into a good young man.
Are there any good New Year’s resolutions coming out of your home this year? I look forward to your comments.
Kyle James runs a website called Rather-Be-Shopping.com which specializes in online coupons and coupon alerts to over 800 popular retailers like Lands’ End, Kohl’s, and American Eagle. He also has a blog, where he writes about frugal living, creative ways to save money, and the adventures of raising three active kids.